top of page

Updated: Sep 2, 2020

So System Responsibility is a thing. Some people are under the mistaken impression that if one of their Alters does something wrong, that's okay because it was the Alter and not them who did it. And whilst it may be true that it wasn't them in control at the time, everyone in a D.I.D. System must take responsibilities for each others actions. If a Singlet (a person without multiple personalities) must take responsibility for their actions, so must people with multiple personalities. After all, despite each Alter being their own person, they are all part of the same mind and body. What affects one will affect all at some point.


I have discovered this the hard way, and it's not pleasant to have to take responsibility for something an Alter did. It's hard. It hurts. It can be awkward and embarrassing. But ultimately it is everyone's responsibility in the System to make sure you are all polite, fair, just, kind, loving and treat people the way you want to be treated. It may not feel fair to you, but it is what it is and there's no getting around it.


For example, if one of the Alters murders someone in cold blood and stated that it "Wasn't me, your Honour, it was my Alter", that will not hold up in court. It just won't. You may get some leeway on your sentence due to having a serious mental health issue, but you're still going to do the time. You (plural) do the crime, you (plural) do the time.


Recently a previously unknown Alter of my own suddenly Fronted for the first time without warning and immediately took a serious overdose and went to therapy where we fell unconscious after telling the therapist. I personally do not remember any of this. The action was solely done by this particular Alter. I had no control. However, I stepped up and took responsibility for my Alter's actions and wrote a formal letter of apology on his behalf to my therapist and I, with the help of my Protectors and Gatekeeper, did everything I could practically to prevent it from happening again. Did I want to take responsibility for something I didn't do? No, of course not! But the Alter is part of MY System and therefore, I am as much responsible for our actions as any of us are. And in time, the Alter in question will also take responsibility and apologise in person to our therapist. Because it's the right thing to do. And doing so will encourage better behaviour from the Alters in the long run.


A System won't start to function well together until they are willing to take responsibility for each others actions. And that requires good communication and a willingness to learn and grow. Sure, there will be difficult Alters who fight that, but overall those in the System who want to make it work must take control and teach the difficult Alters the right way to behave, even if it's tough and uncomfortable and unfair.


I realise this will be a bitter pill to swallow for some people, but I don't want to sugar-coat the harsh reality of living with D.I.D. and mollycoddle people. That won't do you any favours. Better to know up-front the truth about it so that you can begin working on areas that you feel may need some improvement. Yes, it will take time and patience and probably a lot of therapy, but equally yes, it is possible to do and will be rewarding. Don't give up hope. Even the hardest Persecutor will come around in time. Keep persevering. Keep believing. Keep moving forward. I believe in you!

59 views0 comments
Writer's picturesapphire-graver

Updated: Sep 2, 2020

So I was doing some thinking and as I was putting together photos of our artwork in the Gallery, I realised that you can see that all of the drawings and paintings are signed by someone called Linda. Or L. Graver. I'd like to share with you what happened to Linda, and I know that this will be hard for some of you to wrap your heads around, but bear with me on this. It's complicated but I'll try to explain as best as I can.


If you have read our post on D.I.D. Terminology, you may be familiar with the terms: Integration and Fusion. If not, I highly recommend giving it a quick read! But to save a bit of time, I'll quickly summarise...


Integration is when the walls of amnesia between Alters breaks down.

Fusion is when two or more Alters merge into one.


This is what happened to Linda. Our legal birth name is Linda (currently), but late in 2019, she integrated and fused unexpectedly. Her core personality was too weak and damaged to carry on, so she chose to merge into me. I was a Fragment Alter (Partially formed Alter with a single purpose within the System). So the "original" Linda no longer exists as a separate Part. It makes things very confusing when I speak about our past, so I generally refer to everything pre 2019 as "I", "my" etc to make it easier. But the memories I have that came from Linda are like looking at someone else's life. It's a bit weird for me.


So when you look through our gallery and see the signature is Linda's, you'll know why :)

53 views0 comments
Writer's picturesapphire-graver

A poem by Linda Graver (former Core/Host)


Thank you for the mirror,

The mirror of my mind,

My soul,

Me,

All of me.

Thank you for its fragility,

The delicate shards reflecting the Inner World.

Thank you for the Shattering,

Sharp, shattered fragments, jagged and raw,

No single song standing out,

But a symphony,

Discordant,

Harmonistic,

Compelling,

Loud, soft crystalline darkened,

Sharp, flat, toneless,

Colourful, monochromatic, melodic.

Thank you for the song they bring,

A different note each one,

Formed, forming, reaching, grasping,

Silent, deafening.

Thank you that they are me,

All of me,

Part of me and apart from me,

Beautiful,

Unique, dark, dazzling,

Shaped upon the sands of time itself,

The sands of Creation,

The Mirror of Creation,

We, Us, Me,

Thank you.

49 views0 comments
bottom of page