I would like to think so, however when you're right smack bang in the middle of stuff, it can seem overwhelming and like it will never get better. I've had a rough few weeks. Hell, I've had a rough few years! And just when it feels like I might be getting somewhere, someone pulls the rug from under me again. It's tough. It hurts. It's frustrating. And it's so hard to remain positive when it all just feels too much.
But it's gotta get easier sometime, right? I mean, it can't remain bad forever. I keep trying to remind myself of what I want to do with my life; the passion I have for spreading awareness of these mental health disorders; the deep desire to help others who are struggling. I tell myself to focus on the good and positive elements of my life, even if they seem minuscule compared to the problems. I have had people marvel at my tenacity, my inner strength, my resolve, my resilience... I don't see it. But people do. I just plod on... one step forward, two steps back, three steps forward, one step back and so on. Life is a complicated dance and I haven't learnt all the moves. One day it'll just click and I'll get it. And it'll be easier. But for now I just fumble along and hope for the best.
I seem to have hit a massive road block with my therapy and I don't know the best way forward. I'm really hoping it'll resolve itself quickly and I'll get back on track. But at the moment it's all just too much and I'm tired.
But there is hope. It will get better. It may take a while and in the meantime I need to try to hold onto the good things. I feel like a fragile, broken flower right now, but this flower has thorns and underneath it all, is robust. I'll get there. If you're reading this and feeling down and hopeless, just know you're not alone. I'm with you. I hear you. You are valid and worthy of good things.
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